Before doing a donation cycle it is very important to have a consultation with a counsellor specialized in third party reproduction. Egg donation is a process which of course gives incredible possibilities if you are having problems with conceiving a child. However you need to remember that there is a whole bunch of different issues you will have to deal with. Very often they are issues that didn’t even slipped your mind but it is so much better to come prepared than be caught off guard.
Even though you could think that if some of those issues weren’t mentioned you wouldn’t even worry about them but trust us, they will eventually find you and counselling will prepare you for it.
With the first session the psychologist will evaluate your readiness to begin the treatment. He or she will take you through the whole process step by step with all the psychosocial and emotional aspects that are connected to infertility. Don’t forget to make an appointment with the counsellor after you choose your option of treatment and of course before you start with it. Your egg donor is also required to be psychologically evaluated of course, physical health is not everything.
Ok so what are the concerns in general?
- Lack of genetic connections with the offspring
- Selecting the donor
- Legal responsibilities of all parties
- Telling the child about its origins, or announcing it to family and friends
- Your feelings about unsuccessful pregnancies or infertility treatments in the past if there were such.
- Personal, spiritual and financial issues
OVERCOMING THE ISSUES
You don’t need to get past each issue with counselling. You can face some of these concerns with your partner or friends or even by yourself. There are however issues that need to be taken on with the help of a professional.
First of all you need to talk. Talk about things that hurt you in the past and still have impact on your life in the present. Speaking with people who also went through infertility problems could be very helpful. In some marriages it is very difficult to have a serious discussion. There are various reasons why that happens but sometimes they just don’t know how to do it. This is where the counselling comes in. A specialized psychologist will know how to make this discussion flow.
Such evaluation involves both medical and psychological reviews of the infertility experiences. A discussion about what you think in overall about egg and embryo donations.
An insight about what are your fears concerning the subject and all kind of questions about parenting issues. If you decide for a known donor it could be a meeting including her also where you would talk about your plans of involvement.
People often ask if they will be evaluated on being good parents or not? We wouldn’t necessarily say it’s a wrong question but we have all seen younger girls thinking “my god how will she raise a kid, she’s still a kid herself” and later it turns out she is a great mother. What we are trying to say is people change when they have a baby and everyone can be a good parent.
HOW CAN A PSYCHOLOGIST HELP?
The most important thing is to be able to talk about complex emotional problems and try to conquer them together. Don’t leave hurting issues to yourself.
So if there is a problem even somewhere deep within you should talk it through, be assured that the psychologist have heard them all and already knows what are the best options to get past them.