Surrogacy is still a controversial subject all over the world. Even though a lot of celebrities and everyday people tried it, it still looks like a crazy idea for a lot of people. Surrogacy is the one of the most popular and often the only way the same-sex couples can create a family.
If you want to use the procedure of surrogacy you shouldn’t bother with what people say but you certainly should know a thing or two about it… or ten.
If you want to have a child and you know there is no chance of success with In vitro fertilization and egg donation than surrogacy might be your only chance. However if you decide to do it there are things you need to know first.
- Remember that laws and legislations on surrogacy in all places around the world can be a true rollercoaster. To handle all the legalities you will most probably need a good lawyer.
- Decision to do surrogacy will be a very significant one. Prepare for one of the emotionally hardest periods of your lifetime but remember the price is worth it!
So without further ado!
- Think with your head.
You don’t have to keep your heart out of it totally but it would be good if you tried to handle your emotions and not make decisions based on your feelings. You don’t want to regret something later because you were hasty and emotional. Remember that the procedure of surrogacy can be costly and you don’t want to make it even more expensive with unreasonable decisions.
- First things first: The Clinic
One of the first things you need to do is to find a proper clinic. This way all the upcoming decisions will be monitored by the clinic and they will able to see the bigger picture. You will make all the necessary papers available for them so they can look into all the information about the surrogate, the egg donor, the intended parents and the agency you chose. If anything is wrong the clinic will be able to detect it and sort it out.
- The surrogacy agency
Having an agency is not essential but it sure could make some things easier. Having an agency behind your back can especially help with some legalities and emotional matters. They can also serve as a mediator between you and the surrogate.
- The cost
You need to know the approximate cost of all the procedures, medication and all things involved. You do not want to be surprised with additional expenses during the process. It is also a good time to think about genetic screening. It is not essential especially when the donor is really young but even then there could be some unwanted genetic abnormalities involved.
- The egg donor
Choosing the right candidate for your egg donation is a very significant matter and you should take your time with it. However do not overthink it! Here it’s a bit advisable to listen to your heart. It can be done through the clinic you already chose, your surrogacy agency or you can choose it yourself if for example you want a known donor.
- Surrogate candidate
When choosing the surrogate remember that it is very important in which country or US state she lives in. Laws on surrogacy are very different around the world and it is important to know about all the problems you can encounter. This is here when you will learn if your name will be on the birth certificate of the child and will you be recognized as the legal parent.
- Parental order recognition
You can do this either pre-birth or post birth. This matter was mentioned in the 6th point. You can be recognized as the legal parent thanks to this order either pre-birth or post birth which can take a couple of weeks.
- Be there!
Be with your surrogate at as much hospital appointments as you can and gather some ultrasound pictures! It could be a beautiful emotional experience.
Find out if your surrogate is insured are you does it need to be covered. Furthermore find out if your child is covered by your own insurance or do you need to have another especially for her or him.
- Know your surrogate
The last but not the least, communicate and talk with your surrogate frequently. There is a chance it isn’t her first surrogacy – in this case talk about her past experiences and what she liked and didn’t like and use that information to make her comfortable.
If you need more information get to know our website guide. It is an egg donation guide but you will find a lot information about legal matters considering surrogacy and a lot about egg donors.