IVF journey – how to cope with IVF emotional rollercoaster

All women trying to conceive with the help of assisted reproduction technologies will agree: IVF journey is never easy, but it is so rewarding that you forget about all the anxiety, sadness and IVF emotional roller coaster once you hold that sweet baby of yours in your arms.

The IVF success rates of best fertility clinics are continuously improving. You should know that on average one in two women undergoing egg donation IVF will have a successful treatment. There are various factors that can lead to failure or success. Do not be discouraged if the first cycle on your IVF journey fails.

Most women, with the support of their partners and husbands, keep on fighting for their dream baby: they travel to fertility clinics abroad to cut costs and have a successful outcome after their second or third IVF. Some IVF survivors-turned-bloggers like Scantily Dad or Cindy had even a few IUI and IVF cycles and now they are happy mums and dads! It is more common than you think.

There is loads of information online on how to prepare for IVF or how to find the best fertility clinic, however, there is little information advising women on how to cope with IVF emotional roller coaster. For many patients, it can be depressing and hopeless time. EggDonationFriends are aware of that. We have teamed up with Nina Leicht-Crist, an author, labour & birth assistant and happy mother to her IVF Miracle Baby, to give you some tips on how to deal with IVF stress.

coping with failed ivf

  1. Patience. You and your partner/husband decided together you wanted a baby. IVF with donor eggs is not a traditional method, but have patience and trust and your baby will come.
  2. Emotions. Some carry them on their sleeve and others go quietly about it. Whatever your coping mechanism is, be ready to support each other’s emotions. Some women find blogging or being active on fertility forums helpful.
  3. Respect. IVF cycles include a lot of hormones. A true emotional rollercoaster. All partners should understand that their female partner’s body and psyche have to endure a lot of invasion of privacy. Be respectful and hug her often; even if she seems a little crazy.
  4. Support. Both of you had hopes and dreams, but when your IVF cycle is unsuccessful, you may feel like you wasted your money or time. You may feel like a failure because your body didn’t cooperate the way you wanted it. Don’t think about it this way. Think that it is another step that is bringing you closer to your dream goal. Now more than ever, support each other.
  5. Love. IVF treatment produces many successful pregnancies. There are cases where the doctors cannot say for sure why your cycle didn’t work out this time. There are multiple factors involved. Keep loving each other and, most importantly, don’t place blame on one another.
  6. Get professional help. If you feel the need, book an appointment with a fertility counselor, a therapist specialized in infertility patients. Talk to your clinic’s consultant, there might be a counselor available there. If you worried about the cost, check with your health insurance company. They may cover all or a part of mental health treatments.

There are many ways you can work through your own problems you simply need to find those that suit you and your partner. Be strong and loving! There are many IVF support organizations that might be helpful on your IVF journey. You may want to check our list of Top 7 Infertility Support Organizations to Follow in 2019. 

About the Author

Dorothy Walas

Dorothy Walas

Dorothy has solid background in communication, social media, and content creation. She is always on the lookout for news in the IVF industry and is in touch with IVF organisations, writers, bloggers and clinics. Dorothy believes in transparency of the message sent to patients and easy access to IVF knowledge. She manages the website and social media content to educate patients, spread awareness about egg donation, bust the IVF myths and assist patients in making decisions that are right for them, not for the clinic. Dorothy’s personal interests are strongly linked to her work; she is interested in biology, genetics and is an advocate of healthy and active living.

Medically reviewed by

Nina Leicht Crist

Nina Leicht Crist

Apart from being a bilingual translator, Nina is a writer, obstetric and gynaecologic, labor and delivery medical assistant. She holds a B.Sc. degree in business management from University of Maryland University College. She has experience working in the areas of OB/GYN, L&D, and postpartum care in Germany and the USA. Since the birth of her rainbow baby in 2013, she translates EN-DE/DE-EN written material, writes about infertility, motherhood, and advocates for other (in)fertile couples. Nina is the author of her autobiography: “Love, Faith and Infertility – A Story of Hope and Special Forces” and has published various blogs and articles in the USA.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *